Its Ok not to be Ok

[lifestags]

Hi all,

I know this may not get used and people may feel uncomfortable but I thought it would be a good idea to have a place on here with fellow stags fans, where we can talk openly about things that may be worrying us or getting us down pandemic related or not.

No judgement, just fellow stags fans being supportive, not only of our great Football Club but of each other. Differences and squabbles aside.

If it doesn't get used then I understand but thought it was important we have it somewhere.

[bellwhiff]

Yep I agree. I had a friend bang himself a couple of weeks back. Absolute tragedy. It’s important to track out and although we do squabble, there’s far more that unites us than divides us.

[ParisStag]

Yep I agree. I had a friend bang himself a couple of weeks back. Absolute tragedy. It’s important to track out and although we do squabble, there’s far more that unites us than divides us.

Sorry to hear about your friend. That's awful. Make sure you talk to someone about it.

[bellwhiff]

Yep I agree. I had a friend bang himself a couple of weeks back. Absolute tragedy. It’s important to track out and although we do squabble, there’s far more that unites us than divides us.

Sorry to hear about your friend. That's awful. Make sure you talk to someone about it.

Thanks. I’m cool. I’m rather used to it unfortunately.

His wife left him and he just hung himself. He was a nice bloke. He was organising a big post covid concert/festival in Liverpool. Top lad. So sad.

[HitchcocksShins]

Yep I agree. I had a friend bang himself a couple of weeks back. Absolute tragedy. It’s important to track out and although we do squabble, there’s far more that unites us than divides us.

Sorry to learn of that. Very sad news.

[lifestags]

Anyone else feeling just a bit crappy at the minute? Probably the “winter blues” you read about.

[part time pete]

Anyone else feeling just a bit crappy at the minute? Probably the “winter blues” you read about.

You are just felling guilty for not going to Crawley

[bellwhiff]

Anyone else feeling just a bit crappy at the minute? Probably the “winter blues” you read about.

My ex wife suffers from SADS. It’s a thing.

I’ll add that she still suffers with it even though we are divorced:)

[georgefostersbeard]

Anyone else feeling just a bit crappy at the minute? Probably the “winter blues” you read about.

My ex wife suffers from SADS. It’s a thing.

I’ll add that she still suffers with it even though we are divorced:)

The blue lamp that SADS sufferers use can be highly effective. I have a friend who is almost crippled in November by the change in the hour and the onset of long dark evenings and he swears by his. That said, before his children started school as he worked remotely they would move to Malta for November and December.

[bellwhiff]

Anyone else feeling just a bit crappy at the minute? Probably the “winter blues” you read about.

My ex wife suffers from SADS. It’s a thing.

I’ll add that she still suffers with it even though we are divorced:)

The blue lamp that SADS sufferers use can be highly effective. I have a friend who is almost crippled in November by the change in the hour and the onset of long dark evenings and he swears by his. That said, before his children started school as he worked remotely they would move to Malta for November and December.

Yeah she has one and had it since we were together. She’s got pneumonia and Covid at the moment so her SADS has been trumped.

[part time pete]

Anyone else feeling just a bit crappy at the minute? Probably the “winter blues” you read about.

If that performance yesterday didn’t brighten your spirits, then you do need help.

[yaxhamstag]

I know it’s not Stags related and many of you may already have seen or heard about it, but the Norwich City video on mental health and wellbeing is thought provoking and moving. It’s worth a watch.

https://www.skysports.com/watch/video/s ... health-day

[part time pete]

Keeping it stags related, the stags have quite a few programs running regarding mental health and wellbeing.

https://www.mansfieldtownct.net/health-wellbeing

[HU7stag]

[PEAR CIDER]

quite spine chilling that ending

There have been so many local lads over the last couple of years that have taken their own life, its so awful to see. A couple of these, you'd have never known on the surface there was an issue they were dealing with.

The society we live in there does seem to be a stigma of talking about it. its almost as if people don't want to put the burden onto others, especially when in a group environment. In the worse scenarios people just cannot feel they can talk and before you know it, its too late.

More of a rhetorical question, but how can you help and offer support when you dont know there is an issue?

[Birminghamstag10]

that's one powerful video, well done Norwich City on promoting such an issue. I know my 2 hours at the football every week or 2 are a massive release for me personally and something I use alongside exercise and other activities to relieve any stresses or anxiety.

[zod]

A good friend of mine took his life last year so this hits home quite hard.
Outwardly there were no signs that he was depressed so it came as a massive shock to everyone.

[PEAR CIDER]

In the climate we live in now, i feel its only going to get worse.

People all over the place are feeling the pinch, even those that are on mid range incomes. Trying to make ends meet only enhances the stress, burden and anxiety that goes on in the background.

unfortunately this isn't something that talking about can necessarily resolve.

[robeyre]

Thanks for sharing this

[bobbystagsfan]

quite spine chilling that ending

There have been so many local lads over the last couple of years that have taken their own life, its so awful to see. A couple of these, you'd have never known on the surface there was an issue they were dealing with.

The society we live in there does seem to be a stigma of talking about it. its almost as if people don't want to put the burden onto others, especially when in a group environment. In the worse scenarios people just cannot feel they can talk and before you know it, its too late.

More of a rhetorical question, but how can you help and offer support when you dont know there is an issue?

Mental health support in this country is also shocking. They are quick to just chuck you on anti depressants or anxieties which can work, but it's not always a fix and doesn't work for everyone.

[zod]

In the climate we live in now, i feel its only going to get worse.

People all over the place are feeling the pinch, even those that are on mid range incomes. Trying to make ends meet only enhances the stress, burden and anxiety that goes on in the background.

unfortunately this isn't something that talking about can necessarily resolve.

Maybe not the financial side, but talking about wanting to end your own life would allow someone to try and help you.
I just wish my mate had said something.

[lifestags]

FYI I made a thread called ''its ok not not to be ok'' on the tap room section of this board if anyone felt like they needed to talk or get some advice of fellow members.

[Marky Mark]

quite spine chilling that ending

There have been so many local lads over the last couple of years that have taken their own life, its so awful to see. A couple of these, you'd have never known on the surface there was an issue they were dealing with.

The society we live in there does seem to be a stigma of talking about it. its almost as if people don't want to put the burden onto others, especially when in a group environment. In the worse scenarios people just cannot feel they can talk and before you know it, its too late.

More of a rhetorical question, but how can you help and offer support when you dont know there is an issue?

It's a great question, and as someone who has struggled terribly with mental health challenges over the last few years - and has learnt a lot about it as a result of ongoing therapy - I've definitely changed how I am with other people in the hope that they see someone they can talk to if ever they needed to. Everyone has mental health challenges, the only difference is where you are on the scale of it. A lot of people with depression/mental health challenges are high functioning, so I genuinely don't think there's anything you can do to identify it specifically in any person as everyone shows different signs, if any signs at all. I think the only sign I've noticed with people is that they tend to go off radar when they're struggling. The best thing you can do is to be approachable to all of your mates, hug them, tell them how important they are to you, be open about your own struggles, do things with them and hope that in you they see someone that they can approach - and if they do then be aware that your role is not to solve their challenges, but just to be there and listen and direct them to help - people with mental health challenges want to be with people they feel safe with personally, not treated as though they're different, and not told what to do to make it better (outside of being directed to help).

An approachable male mate is not an easy thing to be in an alpha-masculine world, but for me it's one of the main things any of us can do to make a difference. I know the people in my circle who I could go to, even if they don't know it themselves.
Sorry to hear about your mate Zod

[part time pete]

Just bumping this back to the top to make it more visible for folk who want to talk.

[broomo]

quite spine chilling that ending

There have been so many local lads over the last couple of years that have taken their own life, its so awful to see. A couple of these, you'd have never known on the surface there was an issue they were dealing with.

The society we live in there does seem to be a stigma of talking about it. its almost as if people don't want to put the burden onto others, especially when in a group environment. In the worse scenarios people just cannot feel they can talk and before you know it, its too late.

More of a rhetorical question, but how can you help and offer support when you dont know there is an issue?

It's a great question, and as someone who has struggled terribly with mental health challenges over the last few years - and has learnt a lot about it as a result of ongoing therapy - I've definitely changed how I am with other people in the hope that they see someone they can talk to if ever they needed to. Everyone has mental health challenges, the only difference is where you are on the scale of it. A lot of people with depression/mental health challenges are high functioning, so I genuinely don't think there's anything you can do to identify it specifically in any person as everyone shows different signs, if any signs at all. I think the only sign I've noticed with people is that they tend to go off radar when they're struggling. The best thing you can do is to be approachable to all of your mates, hug them, tell them how important they are to you, be open about your own struggles, do things with them and hope that in you they see someone that they can approach - and if they do then be aware that your role is not to solve their challenges, but just to be there and listen and direct them to help - people with mental health challenges want to be with people they feel safe with personally, not treated as though they're different, and not told what to do to make it better (outside of being directed to help).

An approachable male mate is not an easy thing to be in an alpha-masculine world, but for me it's one of the main things any of us can do to make a difference. I know the people in my circle who I could go to, even if they don't know it themselves.
Sorry to hear about your mate Zod

Top post.

Good man.