Its Ok not to be Ok

[Elkesley Stag]

The lad I work with has split up with his girlfriend 3 times in the 6 months I have worked with him . Each time came into work but sent home within an hour due to crying at his desk and being unable to work. First time was ahh bless all been there , second time was dump her youth if she’s depressing you that much and third time was fgs . Years ago the advice would have been man up , get down town with you mates and you will soon get another girlfriend, move on . I dread to think what action my dad would have took if I had left work over a girlfriend. It would probably have involved gallons of beer , woodbines , arm wrestling and back breaking work on the allotment. It’s no longer puppy love , he’ll learn , that’s why you don’t stop seeing your mates , leave him be he ‘ll get over it . Now it’s you need to see the doctor , take time out , talk to someone and have you got a good friend to confide in . It seems that both ends of the argument are extreme and while things have changed for the better and every person has different needs , I do wonder if we have gone too far though with the blanket coverage and the apparent need to quickly attach a label to what appear to be lifestyle experiences. Not doubting for a single second that the need for care is necessary, I am dubious about the amount the time and resources spent on problems that would previously been solved by stronger parenting while we have people killing students and throwing acid around when they have both been previously seen and their mental health raised concerns.

[SeanieStag]

The lad I work with has split up with his girlfriend 3 times in the 6 months I have worked with him . Each time came into work but sent home within an hour due to crying at his desk and being unable to work. First time was ahh bless all been there , second time was dump her youth if she’s depressing you that much and third time was fgs . Years ago the advice would have been man up , get down town with you mates and you will soon get another girlfriend, move on . I dread to think what action my dad would have took if I had left work over a girlfriend. It would probably have involved gallons of beer , woodbines , arm wrestling and back breaking work on the allotment. It’s no longer puppy love , he’ll learn , that’s why you don’t stop seeing your mates , leave him be he ‘ll get over it . Now it’s you need to see the doctor , take time out , talk to someone and have you got a good friend to confide in . It seems that both ends of the argument are extreme and while things have changed for the better and every person has different needs , I do wonder if we have gone too far though with the blanket coverage and the apparent need to quickly attach a label to what appear to be lifestyle experiences. Not doubting for a single second that the need for care is necessary, I am dubious about the amount the time and resources spent on problems that would previously been solved by stronger parenting while we have people killing students and throwing acid around when they have both been previously seen and their mental health raised concerns.

You raise some good points. Life is a struggle for most people.

[georgefostersbeard]

I find this thread fascinating and a little troubling. After Elkesley's thoughts and point that the lack of stronger parenting could be an issue, we had the oft used 'schools have mollycoddled kids for the last twenty years' and the citing of non competitive sports days as examples of why we are going to hell in a handcart.v It is almost that we are saying that people's ills and flakiness comes from outside the home only. Now I am happy to be out of education and will bore anyone about how broken the education system is (and it really is doing so much better than it should be) but a bit of context or perspective is needed.

To my mind, the biggest issue for kids is the massive prevalence of social media and phones. It is no coincidence that the bosses of companies like Facebook living in the Silicon valley have sent their kids to a posh school that bans all social media before the age of 13. To my mind, it is the thing with the biggest impact on young people's mental health. How many of you work in places where the biggest moan from older workers is that the young ones can't put their phones down when they are meant to be working?


With regards schools, the non competitive sports day are and were nonsense and shouldn't have been a thing but it was never as big as portrayed in the media. They have become far less occurrent and one thing I will praise this government for is the strengthening of the expectation of competitive sports taking place for all.

That said, there is little fear known to man than the sight of Grandma striding across the track at sports day waving a mobile phone shouting that their grandchild "flipping won that and you better flipping give her a gold star or I am going to kick off" I was demanded of to look at video evidence in every summer of the last five years of my time in school. I was "offered out" by a dad because I wasn't listening to him when he said another kid had their thumb on the egg in the egg and spoon race. And that is before the parents who back their children when they know they are in the wrong because "you have to; don't you otherwise they will resent you" said to me after a false accusation of swearing made against a member of staff with 30+ witnesses saying otherwise. Provably false accusations are becoming more of an issue with kids trying to get their parents' attention. It is no coincide that this is happening when schools are hanging the 'Greet your kid with a smile, not a phone' signs around the playground.
Education is meant to be the 'icing on the cake" with the cake made up of family, community and government support and, to be honest, education is now the cake in too many cases with family doing the nice bits. In my 30 years, schools have had to start teaching kids to toilet, wash their hands before eating, drink water "he will only drink juice or red bull and will kick off if i give him water" (direct quote), brush their teeth, brush their hair, rotate underwear over days, eat with a knife and fork amongst many other things. I would have thought that these things are the job of parents and perhaps the mollycoddling comment comes from school now parenting many kids.
As I said, I am massively critical of schools and education, not least the current fetish for punishing kids for being in the wrong colour shoes / trousers etc but I perhaps we need to look at the family dynamic when considering the state we are in.

I desperately tried not be ranty but think I have failed

[Dan]

I find this thread fascinating and a little troubling. After Elkesley's thoughts and point that the lack of stronger parenting could be an issue, we had the oft used 'schools have mollycoddled kids for the last twenty years' and the citing of non competitive sports days as examples of why we are going to hell in a handcart.v It is almost that we are saying that people's ills and flakiness comes from outside the home only. Now I am happy to be out of education and will bore anyone about how broken the education system is (and it really is doing so much better than it should be) but a bit of context or perspective is needed.

To my mind, the biggest issue for kids is the massive prevalence of social media and phones. It is no coincidence that the bosses of companies like Facebook living in the Silicon valley have sent their kids to a posh school that bans all social media before the age of 13. To my mind, it is the thing with the biggest impact on young people's mental health. How many of you work in places where the biggest moan from older workers is that the young ones can't put their phones down when they are meant to be working?


With regards schools, the non competitive sports day are and were nonsense and shouldn't have been a thing but it was never as big as portrayed in the media. They have become far less occurrent and one thing I will praise this government for is the strengthening of the expectation of competitive sports taking place for all.

That said, there is little fear known to man than the sight of Grandma striding across the track at sports day waving a mobile phone shouting that their grandchild "flipping won that and you better flipping give her a gold star or I am going to kick off" I was demanded of to look at video evidence in every summer of the last five years of my time in school. I was "offered out" by a dad because I wasn't listening to him when he said another kid had their thumb on the egg in the egg and spoon race. And that is before the parents who back their children when they know they are in the wrong because "you have to; don't you otherwise they will resent you" said to me after a false accusation of swearing made against a member of staff with 30+ witnesses saying otherwise. Provably false accusations are becoming more of an issue with kids trying to get their parents' attention. It is no coincide that this is happening when schools are hanging the 'Greet your kid with a smile, not a phone' signs around the playground.
Education is meant to be the 'icing on the cake" with the cake made up of family, community and government support and, to be honest, education is now the cake in too many cases with family doing the nice bits. In my 30 years, schools have had to start teaching kids to toilet, wash their hands before eating, drink water "he will only drink juice or red bull and will kick off if i give him water" (direct quote), brush their teeth, brush their hair, rotate underwear over days, eat with a knife and fork amongst many other things. I would have thought that these things are the job of parents and perhaps the mollycoddling comment comes from school now parenting many kids.
As I said, I am massively critical of schools and education, not least the current fetish for punishing kids for being in the wrong colour shoes / trousers etc but I perhaps we need to look at the family dynamic when considering the state we are in.

I desperately tried not be ranty but think I have failed

I think that’s a great post tbf mate. Theres no wonder there seems to be a shortage of teachers when they can’t even tell a child off these days. Gone are the days when you had a board rubber lobbed at you! But it bloody worked, as it made you have respect. These days kids just have no respect and the parents just can’t be arsed.

[georgefostersbeard]

Just checking in on how we are doing, I am hoping that the last five games as well as the increasing signs of spring are helping.
I know that getting out in the fresh air more as it is finally raining a little less is helping my mindset massively at the moment

[Johnny Rotten]

Manchester City is pleased to announce a new collaboration with suicide prevention charity Andy’s Man Club to provide free weekly support for fans and the wider community.

The agreement will see Andy’s Man Club deliver weekly men’s peer support sessions at the Etihad Stadium so men across our fanbase and local community can come together in a judgement-free space and be open about any issues in their lives.

Founded in Halifax in 2016 to create positive change in men’s mental health, Andy’s Man Club is a suicide prevention charity offering free peer-to-peer support groups for males over the age of 18.

The new support group at the Etihad Stadium will launch in May becoming the first Andy’s Man Club in East Manchester, joining over 180 clubs nationwide which currently support more than 4,000 men.

Further information about the first event in May will be shared on the Club’s website and social media platforms over the coming weeks.

In the meantime, for more information about Andy’s Man Club, please visit andysmanclub.co.uk

[Dan]